Marriage and productivity
We often hear people saying things like ...
You'll see what I mean when you are married.
Personally, I don't buy this piece of shit and I consider it a rather childish way to deal with adulthood, or the inability to deal with it at all which in my opinion it makes things even worse!
They make it sound like we are all doomed to this, we shouldn't try to resist because all resistance is futile; or like this is something we didn't chose, yet we have to learn to live with it forever.
These people have no idea about what it means to HAVE FUN, by FUN I do not mean smoking weed or getting drunk on a Friday night "because you deserve it" ...
Before we jump into any hazardous conclusions let's look at these folks way before they made contact with the so called female companion.
When I get home, I don't have time or the will to do anything else.
I tell you what that anything else means; it means exactly that, yup it means nothing, it means wasting your evening, wait... wasting every single evening and weekend by doing absolutely nothing!
The vacation was too short, I'd like to go back, I want more ...
Seriously? You cannot be for real ...
I don't like my job, I'm just doing it because I couldn't find anything better.
Why I can't have a bigger salary? Company XYZ gives XYZ amount of money for far less work ...
I find doing nothing incredibly difficult, but maybe that's just me ...
At this point the female companion made her appearance and suddenly things become a lot more simple; there's no need to find various arguments and reasons, everything can be summed up in one sentence.
I would really love to do XYZ, but I have a wife you know? ...
Can this get any more pathetic than this? I'd say it can't, this is the end of line.
The female companion is doing the exact same thing and she's in the exact same state of denial, totally disconnected from reality.
There are millions of couples like this in the world. I blame the society for this phenomena.
Perhaps they do not understand the meaning of the word productivity, or perhaps which is more likely do not want to, mostly because it would shake their lives built on lies and fake commodities.
Us, the others, all we can do is to try to give them slight hints over and over again in different forms hoping that one day they might get the idea.
While productivity is not directly linked to morals and ethics, it is influenced by them in subtle ways which can be unwillingly neglected by the unsuspecting public.
My personal life is governed by these simple rules:
Living a good and productive life ...
- ... doesn't involve money, material things or
- ... means following your passion and doing the things you are truly passionate about, life is way too short for not being yourself and not having fun
- ... is all about working hard and achieving your dreams at all cost, one just cannot afford wasting his/her life by living someone else's life and copying/chasing someone else's dreams
Discussing these things and making certain individuals understand them is incredibly hard, at least here in Romania, I'd imagine it's pretty much the same in other countries.
People tend to get stuck on the doesn't involve money ... part, this is the only part they are truly interested in and willing to get into arguments with you because to them this is equal to being homeless or even worse being a complete loser.
More often than not the following question comes up as the result of some sort of auto-defense mechanism.
How can you live your life without money?
... and shortly after ...
It's just not possible. You have to make money.
They are so obsessed with the very idea of making money that they forgot what it means earning money, there's a significant difference between the two.
When you follow your passion and do the things you are passionate about, the importance of money fades away and suddenly it becomes less important. Why? You are earning it while having FUN and that is when you are truly productive, enjoying a good life.
Returning to marriage and productivity, surprise, surprise, I have to disappoint you ... A healthy couple having a healthy marriage (healthy meaning = NOT dude + female companion doing it for the sake of doing it, everybody does it anyway, so why not? just like a couple of chimpanzees in the ZOO) will be at least twice as productive and spend twice as much time together than it normally would while being single.
How this can be? Are they on medication? Is this some new E.T technology?
No you fool, it just means a better use of time and more careful planning. If you think that this cannot be scaled any further, you are wrong, marriage is just the tipping point.
Only after new bundles arrive the couple will reach its maximum (relative!) productivity in terms of time usage and general planning.
What is the logical explanation behind this sudden boost of productivity?
A single productive person has a TODO list filled with various projects, in this context the word project is being used in a more broader sense which includes all sorts of activities, official and personal.
(I'm not going to tackle the importance of having a TODO list because that subject deserves a full post on its own.)
The personal ones may or may not be prioritized, some of them can be discarded, etc. In order words it's not end of the world if they are not completed on time, etc.
After the marriage two new groups emerge:
- common projects
- projects important to the significant other
The existence of these groups results in a re-organization of the TODO list. As you might have guessed already, they go straight to the top of the list.
As a secondary result, the couple will be able to do MORE in LESS time.
Wait, weren't they productive already?
It's human nature to stretch the time available to suit projects and not the other way around, which explains why adding two new groups produces a productivity boost, despite the increase in the number of active projects.
There's no "I" in the team, but there are three "U"s in shUt the fUck Up.
Explain this to the next dude who'll try to sell you the "You'll see ..." crap.
Good luck and have a good night!